


One white candle

by orphan_account



Category: Mamamoo, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Jikook have athletic sex, Lapdance, Lots of sexual content, Multi, Prebreakup/postbreakup fic, Some casual bigotry that I don't in any shape or form condone, The rest of bts is merely mentioned, Wheein and Jimin are both gay and some kind of queer for each other's fingers/tongue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:59:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10064759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Anyone who knew him could tell he'd only been trying to get Jeongguk riled up.Also; Jeongguk is a frustrating man to love.





	1. Purity. Purity.

**Author's Note:**

> Pick any 2014/2013 SZA song
> 
> I picked Ice Moon but this thing keeps deleting the actual link.

He had been straddling Jeongguk's chest, mouth impossibly full and throat constricting beautifully around Jeongguk's cock, when the phone started to ring.

It was a little past two in the morning on a Saturday and they hadn’t been seeing much of each other over the past week. Most of the night had unhurriedly passed away with them like this, laughing, touching and panting. 

It had been great while it lasted, but now the phone was ringing and Jimin knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jeongguk would answer it. He didn't need to see the contact name flashing in the dimly lit room to know it was Yoonji, and neither did Jeongguk.

"Get off for a sec, I've got to get that," Jeongguk said, like it was the easiest thing to just let Jimin's lips pop off his dick without stalling a little.

It wasn't the easiest thing, and that's probably why Jimin snorted around his dick, taking him deeper into his throat with a hard swallow.

Jeongguk groaned, cussed and a moment later, moved them both off to the edge of the bed with, unsurprisingly, little difficulty. One of his arms was wound tightly around Jimin's narrow and thick waist, his free hand pressing against the bed for balance.

Pushing up to his feet, Jeongguk smacked one of his cheeks and Jimin lips slipped up the length of his cock as he gasped.

" _Fuck_ ," Jimin said, because he hadn't known until that exact moment that he'd needed that.

It stung just a little, but not entirely enough and Jeongguk knew this too because not a moment longer, his palms were connecting with Jimin's skin again.

Jimin bobbed his head up the length of Jeongguk's cock frantically at that, moaning shamelessly around it. He could hear the amusement in Jeongguk's voice when he finally answered the phone, which only served to rile him up some more. Jeongguk was a quiet lover, the kind of lover that only ever groaned out loud once and only when he was coming. At the very beginning of their relationship it had always freaked the hell out of him and Jimin had lodged an official complaint three or seven times with very little success.

Sometimes it still bugged him, but the insecurity that used to come with the silence, that, Jimin had long since discarded.

Of course Jeongguk had tried to be a bit more vocal, _god_ he'd tried, and Jimin could appreciate the effort, but he no longer needed it now. Not like in the beginning. There were other tells he could rely on, he'd learnt over time and it was simply far more satisfying than making Jeongguk moan out loud.

"Noona," Jeongguk said, and Jimin felt his own eyes roll all the way to the back of his head. Of course it was Yoonji, who else called at two in the gotdamn morning.

"I can hear that, your words are all slurred and everything. How long have you been drinking?"

Jeongguk's voice came out smooth and incredibly endeared, the voice he always reserved for puppy or baby watching with Taehyung. And then of course Yoonji, always frickin Yoonji.

Jimin loved Yoonji fiercely, he really did, but this shit had to be stopped. God knows there have been countless nights where he and Jeongguk have stayed up because of her. God knows he's tried so hard to be supportive, non-judgemental and empathetic but this shit was just too much.

For the last eight months or so it hadn't been easy, with Yoonji quietly being  depressed and not telling anyone.  Kiseok coercing him into going to Thailand to get his body all changed up like Yoongi had even wanted the _fix_ in the first place. It wouldn't get the hiphop community to stop talking but people still gave them less shit when her chest wasn't so flat. Even lessor shit, when Yoonji's voice lost its deep rumble. And Yoonji, Yoonji hadn't been in the right space of mind to tell apart love from dangerous obsession. 

It hadn't been easy because Yoonji had quietly gone through all of it. Had it not been for a little error at immigration that the authorities hadn't picked up until the very last minute, they would've never got to him on time. Yoonji would still be with that scum of a human toad,  being 'loved' into accepting a body she would've never picked for herself had she been in her right mind.

It was sickening but most of all it had hurt. Yoonji hadn't trusted any of them with her problems and now that Jimin thinks about it, they hadn't really tried to make it feel like she could. Yoonji hadn't trusted them enough to let them in and Jeongguk had sworn to himself then, that it would never be like that again. He'd sworn to always be there for Yoonji at his beck and call and that's precisely why Yoonji was calling right this minute, a little after two in the _gotdamn_ morning.

"Who you with? Listen, I need you to give  the phone to someone who can tell me where to come get you."

Jimin groaned around his cock then, throat constricting with just a little burn. Jeongguk let out a choked breath.

A few months back, Jimin had had the brilliant idea to get his tonsils removed. It had hurt like a bitch for a few weeks but the results were amazing. He could take Jeongguk deeper into his throat, hell, Jeongguk could even stroke his lungs with his dick if they were really trying to be extra filthy. And right now Jimin was, he needed to be extra filthy if he wanted to stay perched on Jeongguk's shoulder like this, with all the blood in his body pooling straight to his head and making him feel a little like being stuck in a SZA song for a universe.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm not in the middle of anything. Never too busy for you," Jeongguk sputtered, voice becoming high and almost whiny. It was incredibly frustrating. Jeongguk was an incredibly frustrating man to love.

"Not. In. The. Middle. Of. Something." Jimin parroted, holding Jeongguk's cock away from his lips.

" _Never too busy for you_?" he hissed, thickly.

Jeongguk always did this, never sparing a moment to think of how Jimin might feel wherever Yoonji was concerned. Yoonji always came first and frankly, Jimin was tired. Tired of always being pushed to the periphery, tired of hearing in countless moments such as this one, that their relationship wasn't that much of  priority if you factored in Yoonji's wellbeing. That, in the great scheme of things, his feelings were petty, mostly, at the very bottom of the hierarchy on Jeongguk's list of priorities. Most of all, Jimin was tired of having the same fight.

"Put me down," Jimin said, far too calm for the raging sea of emotions whipping back and forth inside him.

"Let go -- _fucking_ let me go."

Jimin wiggled his hips against Jeongguk's shoulder, beat against his thighs with loose fists and growled.

"Noona, don't be ridiculous. You'll hate yourself in the morning if you call Hoseok. I'm already on my way," Jeongguk insisted, firmly holding Jimin in place as he continued to squirm.

A moment later, Jimin was being gracelessly deposited onto their bed, phone wordlessly chucked away into a dark corner.

Jeongguk looked down at him for a long intense moment, his eyebrows furrowed in a way that made Jimin want to lick up the side of his face whilst rutting into his thighs. An _extremely_ unfortunate thought.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

And there it was, the unceremonious advent of another fight.

Tired

Jimin was tired.

"Do you know what time it is? It's _fucking_ two in the _gotdamn_ morning, Jeongguk. You're not his fucking babysitter."

And fuck, he hadn't meant to get the pronouns wrong like that. But it wasn't the first time he'd done something like that. Jeongguk knew, just as much as he did, that sometimes he didn't even feel sorry for it. But right now, right now he felt sorry and not because Jeongguk was looking at him with obvious distaste. Not even because a moment later, Jeongguk was quietly putting his sweatpants on, rummaging through the mess on the bedside table for his keys and leaving their bedroom door wide open behind him. Jimin was sorry because he had been trying so hard to unlearn for a while now. He'd been _trying_ so fucking hard.

 

 

 

 

Three weeks after the break up, Wheein accidentally happened.  It wasn't even supposed to be that deep, anyone who knew him at all could tell he'd just wanted to get Jeongguk all riled up, impress upon him in great detail, just what he was missing out on.

It was Namjoon and Hyejin's pre-engagement party and everyone was a little drunk but not enough to not know exactly what decisions they were making. Jeongguk was out by the balcony, Yoonji had mixed a few drinks and her body wasn't having it. It was incredibly frustrating, Jeongguk was an incredibly frustrating man to be this much hung up over.

A little while ago they'd made eye contact and Jimin had clearly seen the exact split second Jeongguk's breath had hitched in his throat. It had given him endless pleasure, to know that he could still draw out such a reaction out of him. Black and leather had always been some of Jeongguk's favourite things on Jimin.

Right now, however, it felt like it had all been for nothing. Jeongguk was still out by the balcony rubbing soothing circles down Yoonji's back and even Hoseok had quietly backed off.

Tired.

Jimin was tired. And sour and hopelessly, irrevocably still in love.

Even when he'd thrown half of Jeonnguk's shit out of the window, he'd been tired, sour and in love. He'd changed up all the locks and saved himself the trouble of screaming and crying pathetically into Jeongguk's chest but he'd still been in love. Sour and tired but very much in love.

Presently, Jimin was more sour than anything else. Which is why when he finally managed to turn his attention away from the damn balcony, Wheein accidentally happened.  She was sitting in a corner by herself, quietly brooding and Jimin could relate.

Jimin made his way through the living room, slinking away when one of Seokjin’s hands tried to intercept him but still giggling at the man’s obnoxious joke. When his knees were in direct contact with Wheein’s, he tipped forward and gave her his most disarming smile.

"let me get this straight," she said into his ear. The music wasn't too loud but her voice was coming out a little too high, a little too strained.

"You want _me_... to give _you_ ," she paused, enunciating her words for full effect.

"...to give _you_ a lapdance?"

"No no no," Jimin said with a nervous giggle, hands shooting out in front of him in protest.

"I want you to let _me_ give _you_ a lap dance."

Wheein looked at him, didn't make an effort to hide the way her eyes suddenly appreciatively trailed down to his hips, back up to the shirt he was wearing and how it plunged so low down his chest. Wheein smiled, rested her head languidly against the wall and patted her thighs.

"Come sit on Mama's lap," she said and Jimin grinned.

It wasn't that deep but somehow, Jimin had lost himself in it. Lost himself long and hard enough to forget where he was, egged on by Wheein's vocal and _demonstrative_ appreciation. He'd lost himself in the rush of it that when he finally looked up, two songs later, he was shocked to find that a small arc had formed around them.

In the corner of his eye, Yoonji was looking at him with wild panic in his eyes. Seokjin was laughing, trying and failing to cover most of it with a loose wrist curling over his mouth. Hoseok's eyes were blown wide open and Namjoon was shouting something he couldn't make out in the discordant hum of noise sallying into his ears. Slightly calmer but no less noisy, Taehyung was screaming at him to, “ _fuck it up, best friend._ ”

It was so easy to get lost in all of it, except something didn't feel quite right. Only when Hyejin stepped in between them, yanking Wheein to her side and fixing a stern look on him did it click into place.

Hyejin was protective, always had been where Wheein was concerned.

Funny, Jimin knew someone else who was like that.

There was a long standing joke among their merged circle of friends about the nature of Wheein and Hyejin's relationship and Namjoon never seemed to mind it very much. But that’s just the thing about Namjoon. He was _that one guy_ in the friendship circle with the brilliant mind, the guy everyone almost invariably came out to first. He was the kind of guy your mother would look at you proudly for having befriended. That self reflexive, critical thinker who always carried his girlfriend's purse in public. _That guy,_ at once profound and annoying as fuck.

"I think you need to sleep now," Hyejin said authoritatively. She meant it for Wheein but her eyes were decidedly fixed on Jimin. Then she cocked her head to the side like she wanted Jimin to follow her, momentarily dropping eye contact. Jimin followed her line of sight until his eyes landed in one corner of the room, where Jeongguk was leaned up against the wall, looking back at him softly. His eyes seemed to glimmer from where he stood and his jaw was set. It wasn't supposed to be that deep, but Jeongguk's eyes pierced into him, saying so much and regretting even more. Jimin wanted to reach out, and he almost did, except right when he took the first step, Jeongguk shook his head ever so slightly, turned and left.

 

 

 

 

"Are you sure she doesn't just have some weird lab coat kink," Jimin said, silently throwing his head back and gasping when the tips of Wheein's fingers rubbed against a faintly electric spot inside him.

"Nuh, I know Yongsun. It takes a lot of work to get her wet on a good day and even when she's needy there are always some problems."

She dribbled more lube down her fingers, pressing it in with a third finger into his ass.

Jimin hummed appreciatively.

"The one time I cosplay to look like Hououin Kyouma, and she's suddenly acting so sex crazed, we practically had to throw away her panties."

Wheein's tongue poked out in concentration for a moment, her fingers doing something new. Something new and _so_ damn good.

"Me dressed as a _fucking_ guy made her so wet Jimin, you've no idea."

" _Shit_ , do that again. _Fuck_."

It wasn't supposed to be that deep, but as it turned out, Wheein was _incredibly_ talented with her hands.

Jimin had never enjoyed being prepped much, right up until Wheein it had always been something of a necessary evil and nothing he willingly looked forward to. Which was such an unfortunate thing because often times, Jimin would rush straight to the exciting bits and his ass would hate him for days.

Real life buttsex would've been so amazing if it went along like a porno, which is to say: with none of that prep shit. Wouldn't it have been so great if he could self-lubricate where it mattered most? If his ass could open up just like a flower and _take_ and _take_ , _god,_ why wasn't science trying to fix this?

"Can't imagine anyone not wanting your fingers up their vagina, you're _magick_!"

He gasped when the angle changed and when Wheein added another finger, his body fell limp against the linen, a soundless cry crawling up his throat and spilling out of his open mouth.

"Nope, she loved them actually. It just wasn't enough. One time, I swear, Namjoon was in the next room with Hwasa and right before she came, Yongsun legit told me that she wished we could borrow his dick for a minute."

At that, Jimin laughed.

"I don't blame her, I've _seen_ Namjoon's dick. It's the kind of thing you'd want to borrow for an entire lifetime. Hyejin made the right decision when she caved."

Carefully, Wheein slipped her fingers out, ungloved her hand and flopped next to him onto the bed. Jimin's eyes slipped closed as he hissed, hips making tight figure eights where they pressed against the linen.

"Seriously, no woman needs that many inches of dick poking around  their womb for cobwebs or whatever fuck. Did you know, the first three inches of the vagina contain nearly 90% of the vaginal nerve endings. Literally, your penis could be as small as my pinky and you could still make her come vaginally. The inner two thirds of are practically useless where pleasure is concerned."

"I dunno, Wheein, I kinda like to feel my organs shifting around Jk's dick. Fuck, I miss that man's cock so much."

Wheein reached out to the bedside table and retrieved a packet of cigarettes, took one out and lit it. Jimin looked at her intently, there was _something_ about the dark shimmer in Wheein's eyes. Something not quite needy or even sexual but it always went straight to his dick. Which was saying something because for as long as he could remember, he'd always _been_ gay. His and Wheein's thing was squarely an arrangement of convenience. Jimin was really great with his tongue and Wheein had magical fingers, it was a fair trade.

Still, that dark shimmer of _something_ in Wheein's eyes went straight to his dick.

"Are you going to moan about your ex all night or are you going to hop on my disco stick"

Jimin moaned shamelessly, moving up onto his elbows and then straddling Wheein's thighs. He was panting already, wildly thrilled.

" _Disco stick,_ " he choked out as he sank onto the strap on.

Wheein took a long inhale and leaned back against the headboard, almost too unaffected for what they were doing. Jimin was completely undressed on top of her, thighs straining on either side of her clothed hips.

She blew out the smoke she'd been keeping in her lungs, hummed appreciatively and smiled back at him.

"Thought so"


	2. Pizza sucks without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil my dude, thanks for looking at this.

 

“Here’s a suggestion, quit moping and just get back together already,”

 

If Wheein were being honest, she was really getting tired of this. It grated her tits, to hear Jimin constantly moan about his ex-boyfriend every time he came over and not in any way that might indicate that  _ this _ was becoming anything other than what they had both initially set out for it to be.

Jimin was a broken record, always finding new and clever ways to make every little thing about Jeongguk, even as he sat perched on her thighs, aggressively riding himself to completion.

 

That whole mess with him and his ex was getting tired fast, and all Wheein wanted was to get off to some good music, not this. Anything but this.

As it was, the mood was completely off. Which was a shame really, because she’d been looking forward to this the whole week.

 

“You need a break? Of course, you do, look at the sweat on you. Get off me real quick. Let’s take a break.”

 

Just like she knew he would, Jimin stopped moving, turning to look back at her with pouted lips and rapidly batting eyelids. It was offensive, some rogue mix of cute and sexy that were terribly confusing to deal with at the best of times and Park Jimin’s permanent state of being. Offensive.

 

Wheein liked him on her lap like this best, his perky little glutes in full view, penis kindly out of sight. Jimin had a beautifully sculpted body, but there were still some  _ things  _ her decidedly gay self still didn’t know how to deal with, even as the two of them lay butt naked, negotiating their way through a bit of heterosexual sex.

 

“I was so close, come on,” Jimin whined but obediently rolled off to the side, one hand slowly stroking his dick.

 

“I’m serious you know? Maybe it’s time you both admit that this whole thing is not working. If I have to hear Yongsun complain again about not getting any because Seokjin refuses to fuck her with your boyfriend crying himself to sleep on the couch in the next room—“

 

“--He’s not my boyfriend,”

 

Sliding off the bed, she grabbed the damp towel she’d placed on the bedside table and blew out the scented candle she always lit along with two incense sticks to counter the scent of sex and sweat whenever Jimin was sleeping over. She wiped at her thighs, where a bit of Jimin’s precum, sweat and lube had smeared into the skin.

 Chucking the damp towel back onto the bedside table, she reached for her laptop. The playlist she had on was half way through a second rotation and since she was no longer in the mood, she figured a new one would do some good to her spirit.

 

“Uh huh,” she said distractedly as she scrolled past Cherry coke.

“Too depressing,” she mumbled to herself, hovering over Oohyo for a moment, before settling on whatever the cursor would settle on first.

 

_ Baby I’ma went too far _

_ No doubt I _

_ Baby I’ma went too far _

  
  


“Much,” she said to the room at large, happily, as it filled with sound, her eyes appraising the mess they’d made around themselves and not feeling bothered one bit.

 

“Technically he left first. I just changed the locks and if anyone needs to beg it should be him.”

 

“And you’re trying to prove what exactly? ‘cause from here it looks like you both lost. You’re moping, he’s moping. You’re lonely and so is he. Hate to be the one to say it, but you two are so fucking sad,” Wheein said, determining at the very last minute that if they were going to have this talk right this minute, she wasn’t going to coddle him.

 

“I’m not lonely,” he shot back, curling his other hand over his balls and feeling them tighten. With one slick finger, he trailed down the perineum, dipping into the cheeks and languidly circled the rim. Hissing on another dragged upstroke, he squeezed gently at the head, smearing the precum generously.

 

Looking back up at Wheein,  Jimin smiled with his teeth. 

And like a contradiction, she smiled sweetly right back. 

Wheein liked how Jimin’s hand would wrap around his pretty little flushed cock without completely covering the full girth of it. It was the prettiest, most sweetest little thing. Almost entirely distracting from how fully loaded with sexual intent the action was.

 

“I have you. Jeongguk though, all he has is a stupid couch, Seokjin’s  _ fucking _ couch and if Seokjin wasn’t so painfully polite he would’ve told him to get off it and fuck off, but Yongsun just might do it if you talk to her. Please talk to her?”   
  


“You’re ridiculous,”

 

“I’m just saying, he’s the desperate one. Stands to reason he should be doing all the, aaah, begging, don’t you think?”

 

Wheein looked back at him, amusement curling her lips and threw the soiled towel she’d used earlier straight into his face.

Jimin took it, wiped down his dick and then little lower, to the generous smear of lube and sweat in between his cheeks, throwing the towel back in her face with an impish grin.

 

“I don’t know Jimin, an hour ago, you  were begging me to put my fist up your ass because, “ _ Jeongguk used to fill you up so good _ .” Like I was saying, you’re kind of sad.”

 

“If I’m sad and desperate, what does that make you then? Out here playing best buds with Yongsun like you two are still okay when you’re anything but. Every Saturday night you get so piss drunk you can’t even remember your mother’s name and for what? So you can cry about her and not remember it in the morning when she comes over with Seokjin? Meanwhile, I’m here playing ‘keep away’ with your stupid phone so you don’t end up calling to cuss her out or beg her to come back.”

 

“Okay first, ouch, low blow dude. Second, I think I’m actually getting over her though. Give  _ this _ a month or two and I might actually fall for you instead,” Wheein said with a wink, waving a hand between the two of them. 

 

Jimin reached for the nearest pillow and aimed it straight for her face, a trail of giggles following closely behind as he moved towards the edge of the bed and dragged her down with. 

 

Rolling from one end of the bed to the other, they both laughed breathlessly, fighting to weaken the other with soft jabs and near painful tickles, until Wheein finally gained dominance, pinning Jimin down by his hips with her strong thighs. 

Wheein’s thighs were probably her proudest work and clearly, the work she regularly put in at the gym had paid off.

 

“You’re disgusting,” 

 

“No seriously, think about it. We can’t get married to the people we love, not legally anyway, even if they loved us back or in your case, loved you how you want to be loved. There are no white picket fences and a dog in our foreseeable future, not unless we make peace with the fact that both our parents will deadass scratch our names off the family registry. Plus, you and I get along real fine, our sex is awesome--”

 

Jimin groaned, and Wheein could feel the underlying “ _Jeongguk_____ ” in it, but continued anyway.

 

“We’re like best friends right, and we’ve only been hanging out alone for what, two months?”

 

“Taehyung’s my best friend”

 

“Like I said, you and I are best friends and we’ve only been hanging out for like one month without those other irrelevant people I shall not name, who’ve done nothing but fuck us up and/or our relationships— don’t whine at me, you know it’s true.”

 

She hovered over his face for a moment, not too close that it would seem like she was going in for a kiss, but close enough to look straight down into his eyes as she ground down her hips on the soft skin of Jimin’s stomach, ass catching on his cock.

 

“Plus, we would make such pretty babies together, and I mean, it’s a shame mpreg isn’t actually a thing because you’d look fucking incredible with my babies inside you.”

 

“You’re so gross,”

 

“And you’re hard. Y’wanna go again? I swear if you mention that boy’s name this time I’ll cut your dick off myself.”

 

Wheein made quick work to remove her panties. There was a patch of wetness right along the center, which she frowned cutely at before she resumed position, sitting herself over the length of Jimin’s cock. His cock lay flat on his stomach, leaking precum onto the soft and bare skin there. It wasn’t what she would have preferred to  _ ride _ in this minute, but it would have to do.

 

Jimin licked his lips and closed his eyes as Wheein’s palm curled under the head of his cock, lifting it just so, wet and pulsing flesh sliding along the length and back.

 

“Fine, you’re right and thanks. I’ll text him first thing on Monday,” he murmured through heavy breaths, hands coming down to grab Wheein’s hips and ground them down.

  
  


“Nice, now be a good little boy and bend that cute little ass over for me one last time.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  


_ “So, you and Wheein huh?”  _

 

It was a date, unofficially, if he squinted just  _ so _ , held on to a bit of healthy delusion, in the circumstance, and smiled wildly as Momo by the counter told him how they had missed seeing him and his  _ gorgeous _ boyfriend around. Momo had always emphasized the  _ gorgeous _ , where Jeongguk was concerned, voice always dropping low and teasingly sultry.

 

“Speaking of, where is  _ your _ gorgeous boyfriend?”

It felt good, for Jeongguk to be identified in relation to him. Almost no one in his life did that anymore.

 

“Late, you know how he is,” he said with a wink, eyes zoning in on the table by the corner that he and Jeongguk had always favored and promptly marching towards it.

 

“Well, you tell him that his coffee was on the house. Don’t pretend you paid for that!” 

 

She shouted after him and Jimin only shrugged, finding himself falling hard into familiar behavior as he pointedly took a sip of Jeongguk’s drink for Momo to see.

 

Jimin had taken the liberty to order Jeongguk’s usual before the other had even arrived and Jeongguk smiled at him for it, soft and quietly grateful as he dropped into the chair on the opposite side of the table.

 

Jeongguk had a way of looking at Jimin like he was not quite the center of the universe, but something terribly close. It made Jimin feel like they were back, like it was just them and the past couple of months had never happened.

 

Officially, they were here to amiably discuss the pertinent lease agreement issue. The contract was in Jimin’s name, but Jeongguk was still signed as one of the tenants. Jeongguk had been dutifully paying his share of the rent since he’d been unceremoniously kicked out of their apartment by Jimin, but something had to give. Now that Jeongguk had found a new apartment to move into and off of Seokjin’s couch, it was simply not feasible to continue with the way things were.

 

“Yeah,” Jimin said, promptly covering his mouth with his drink. There were a lot of things that remained unsaid, naturally, and Jimin could practically hear the gears in Jeongguk’s head working, piecing together all he’d thought he knew and the blank faced slap in the face reality was hitting him with.

 

“You see that’s funny, because I thought I was supposed to be the ‘greedy’ one. The one most likely to leave you for a girl, you remember?”

 

Jimin had always told Jeongguk that bisexuality was a kind of greed, in a playful tone that almost hid the underlying accusation.

 

“Guk,” Jimin said, fists clenching and unclenching as he tried not to give in to the urge to reach out, bringing their hands together and never letting go.

 

“ _ God, _ and to think you used to give me a lot of shit about that,” Jeongguk said. His fingers were trembling slightly, lips curling up into a scowl as he rocked forward, then back again like it was taking a lot out of him to reign himself in.

 

“You gave me so much hell about it, remember? It took  _ years _ for you to finally agree to be with me because you thought I’d leave you for the first woman in a skirt to pass me by on the street and yet here we are,” he laughed, but it sounded pained and wrong, completely wrong.

 

“Aren’t you gay, I mean, how’s that even work?”

 

Jeongguk’s voice was light and deceptively playful, it almost served to distract Jimin away from the pained look in his eye.

 

“I am,” 

Jimin took a labored breath, gulped down his now lukewarm drink and looked straight into those dark pained eyes.

 

“…Gay, I’m gay as fuck. ‘snot— it’s convenient. She helps me out, I help her out.”

 

He shrugged. 

 

“Oh, is that what the cool kids are calling it these days?”

 

“It’s really nothing physical or -- Wait, I mean, look. I’m not attracted to her or whatever, it just works for us. She was hurting and so was I, plus… it takes the edge off?”

 

Jeongguk laughed but there was no mistaking the sadness in it or the sudden hardness in his gaze. 

 

Officially, they were here to talk about the lease agreement and Jimin was going to say that it was okay if Jeongguk wanted to move back into the apartment. His name was on the lease too and Jimin had been wrong for kicking him out. He’d been wrong, stupid and god he was sorry. He was sorry and he missed Jeongguk like a significant part of him had been severed. 

 

He’d tried, stupidly and selfishly to go on, but it hadn’t really worked out all that much, had it?

 

He and Wheein had a great mutually beneficial arrangement going on, but sometimes Jimin just wanted to be cuddled and kissed silly like only Jeongguk could. Sometimes he just wanted to feel small and taken care of. It wasn’t even about the stupid washing machine that had broken down on him last week, something he knew Jeongguk could easily fix. It wasn’t about the gaping hole of things Jeongguk used to take care of, it wasn’t even anything tangible. Not like that.

 

It was about how Jeongguk used to make him feel when he’d been around. Like Jimin had permission to fall in on himself, be small against a big and overwhelming world and still not feel vulnerable or persecuted in any way, because Jeongguk would be there. Quietly watching, quietly protecting and quietly soothing. 

 

Of course, there was the little bit about the sex too, naturally.   
  


Jimin missed being flipped, hauled, carried and fucked against hard vertical surfaces. He missed being thrown over Jeongguk’s shoulder like he was nothing but a sack of potatoes, fucked vertically against nothing but just Jeongguk’s strong arms pulling him in to sink on and mold around his dick. He missed giving away so much of his power and strength to someone he trusted, someone who tacitly knew just how many boundaries were okay to push before it became too much. Someone who never held back. 

_ God _ , it was frustrating. His thoughts were frustrating, because now was not the time to be entertaining those particular images.

 

Jimin grumbled low, squirming in his seat and feeling an unwelcome tightness in his pants. Jeongguk was a frustrating man to be this much hung up over.

  
  


“I was hoping we would talk about the lease,” Jimin said, crossing one leg over the other and wrapping his hands protectively around his drink.

 

“You’ve had enough time to find my replacement,” 

 

He was in defensive mode already and Jeongguk was a difficult man when he was being defensive about something. 

Jimin sighed, looking for the right approach but realizing with an agonizing ache in his chest that he didn’t remember how to ease Jeongguk out of this obstinate stance. At least, not without involving something physical. There were a million ways he knew would work, have Jeongguk purring in his palms in an instant but they all involved some form of physical contact, something Jimin was sure he no longer had any rights to.

 

“I have,” Jimin breathed out. 

 

He’d already lost the fight, because this is what it was, wasn’t it? They were fighting, hadn’t spoken to each other in  _ weeks _ and they were already settling into the familiar routine.

 

Jimin raised his drink to his lips and tipped his head back, only to realize that it was empty. Jeongguk was looking at him intently, differently, eyes trailing the outline of his neck, falling softly to his collarbones, reeling back up to his lips and then down again before their eyes met.

 

They both gulped.

 

“I wanted to apologize,” 

 

Was his voice always this steady and certain? How was Jeongguk this steady and assured in the face of …well, with all the tension flying thickly around them?

 

“I wanted to apologize too,” Jimin said, remembering himself for a minute long enough to string up together something coherent.

 

“For kicking you out, I mean. It was your apartment too and that was a bit uncalled for?”

 

“A bit uncalled for,” Jeongguk parroted, somehow finding something to smile about in this dire situation.

 

“Yeah, I – I was out of line and you just  _ took _ it, like. I wish you hadn’t, but…”

 

“And what, you wish I’d fought back? Half the reasons we broke up was because you were tired of fighting, remember?”

 

“I know, I just,”

 

He just wanted Jeongguk to fight for him, for  _ them _ . Jimin had wanted for Jeongguk to be in their corner for once, to be as defensive and protective as he’d taught himself to be for Yoonji. Was that too much? Had he been asking for something that was entirely impossible to attain? Did Jeongguk really not care enough then?

 

“I just wanted you to fight for  _ us, _ for once.”

 

The words were out before he could even sort through the clutter of thoughts fighting for precedence in his brain. The words were out and Jeongguk was looking at him like he was wounded and dying. His eyes were glassy and his throat bobbed in a way that looked painful.

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Jimin rushed to say, picking up the empty container in front of him and escaping towards the bathroom before Jeongguk could get any word out.

  
  
  
  
  


“Momo says this one’s on the house too,” Jeongguk said, handing Jimin his drink.

 

He’d been standing at the end of the small hallway that led to the bathroom. If Jimin wanted to book it out of there without Jeongguk noticing, his only option would have been the bathroom window.

As it was, that option had long been forgone.

 

Jimin eyed him suspiciously, waiting for something, _anything_. 

  
  


“You always come first,” Jeongguk said, words rushed out but clearly thought out. 

 

They were standing in the way of any potential traffic headed to and from the bathroom and, everything considered, it was probably not the best place to be having a conversation of such nature. But here they were, having the conversation anyway.

 

“I obviously did a bang-up job of showing it, but I...” Jeongguk sighed, moved into Jimin’s personal space and leaned into his face like the beginning of so many of their better choreographed kisses.

 

“I need you to know that you  _ always _ come first. You’re the most important human in my life, Jimin I— you know how scary that is? For a person like me to realize that there’s someone in this world who means so much,  _ so much _ more than my  _ own  _ mother,” He laughed, self-deprecatingly as though he’d just confessed some scandalous crime he’d masterminded. 

 

Jimin couldn’t hold back the smile itching in his bones then. 

 

Jeongguk was terribly filial, something like this couldn’t have been easy to feel or realize. In a sense, it was severely scandalous, a kind of betrayal.

 

Jimin couldn’t hold back the smile in his bones then because Jeongguk looked so youthful and decidedly  _ not _ coping, he looked weak and Jeongguk never looked weak. If it could be helped, Jeongguk never showed his weaknesses. Yet here he was, open, vulnerable, confessing scandalous betrayals and leaning in, but not touching Jimin, even though he looked desperate for it. Needed it.

 

Jimin smiled, suddenly hit by the irrefutable realization that he’d been stupid, so incredibly stupid. 

 

Jeongguk never showed his vulnerability to anyone, not  _ a _ Yoonji, not his own mother, nobody.

Yet, this had not been the first time Jimin had seen Jeongguk so openly unguarded and vulnerable. There had been many times such as this one and for some reason or the other, his mind had casually ignored it all.

 

“I’m not saying it gives me absolute joy to one up your mother, but that’s exactly what I’m saying,” Jimin said, trying and desperately failing to not smile.

 

It was slow, dizzying and took the very breath out of him, the way Jeongguk crowded his front, gently maneuvered Jimin’s back into the wide wall to their left and lifted one arm overhead, the other wrapping itself around his waist. Jeongguk leaned in, eyes glued to Jimin’s lips and sighed, eyes fluttering shut like he might’ve been trying to talk himself out of it. 

  
It made Jimin lick his upper lip nervously, but only for a moment. Because in the next, he was lifting off his toes, back arching off the wall and bringing their lips together with a frail little sigh. 

 

They were in a public place, he had to remind himself as he felt the moan crawling its way up his throat when Jeongguk pulled their bodies flush together, head tilting to deepen the kiss.

But it was too late, he realized as Momo’s voice came through from the other end of the café, part appreciative of the view and part reproving. 

 

They pulled away from each other like it burnt, smiling apologetically to the eyes that were trained on them as they headed straight for the exit.

  
  


“Coming home?” 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Does Yongsun know that you two like to use the same sex toys?”

 

“Uh, rude. Seokjin did not welcome you into his gotdamn home and let you sleep on his stupid couch for you to shit talk him like that,” Jimin said, pushing Jeongguk back on the bed and straddling him by the hips.

 

Pillowing one arm under his neck, Jeongguk snorted.

 

“Wait, does Taehyung even know that you and Wheein were fucking all this time?”

Jimin slowly backed away from the crook of Jeongguk’s neck, sudden panic flaring in his eyes.

 

“Don’t,” he warned, which only served to make the situation worse because Jeongguk suddenly reached for his phone, the evilest smirk working its way up his face.

 

“You wouldn’t, JK, you wouldn’t  _ fucking _ dare.”

 

“What, I get to hear all the gross little details about your sexlife with her and he doesn’t?”

Jimin sighed, batting the phone away from Jeongguk’s hand and pinning his wrists on either side of Jeongguk’s head.

 

Taehyung would never forgive him if he knew about this. It was silly and maybe a little obsessive, but Taehyung had been in some _kind_ of love with Wheein since middle school. 

One day in late September, Taehyung had been casually strolling to his secret spot behind the cafeteria and seen her. Wheein had looked up from where she had someone in a headlock and smiled at Taehyung, just before landing a punch on the scrunched up face of the boy who’d always said mean things to everyone, especially Taehyung. Since that day, his breath would always hitch in his throat when he saw her, he said. Even as the list of women Wheein had slept with steadily tripled his own over the years, somehow Taehyung’s heart never wavered.

Everyone in their merged circle of friends liked to joke about it, including Taehyung and Wheein themselves. Particularly Wheein. 

But Jimin had been on the receiving end of enough heart to hearts to know that his thing with Wheein was the last thing Taehyung should ever know about. 

 

“Oh come on. You asked,” Jimin said, grounding his hips against Jeongguk's.

 

“No I didn’t, I asked how that worked, when the both of you are obviously not… next thing I know, you’re going on and on about her fingers and  _ the _ disco stick. Which, fuck you, fuck her disco stick and fuck her.”

 

“I’d prefer we focus on the fucking _me_ part,” Jimin said, pushing his jeans down one leg with the other, hands already working to get Jeongguk out of his.

 

“God, I missed your cock.”

 

Jeongguk hummed when Jimin’s small hands wrapped around his cock, and something in his chest certainly fluttered when he looked down, seeing how the tips of Jimin’s thumb and middle finger barely came all the way around to brush against each other. It was aesthetically pleasing, the size of them, around his cock, twisting up from the base to cover the head, a bright trail of precum catching on the skin.

 

Jimin trailed fast and noiseless wet kisses along Jeongguk’s skin as he went down, licking up a narrow stripe along the length of Jeongguk’s cock and pressing it to lie flat against the tight skin of Jeongguk’s stomach.

 

“I missed you,” Jeongguk said softly, hands threading through Jimin’s hair. 

It sounded reverent and perhaps that’s why Jimin pulled back, looked into Jeongguk’s eyes and moved to lie on top of him, with his right ear against Jeongguk’s chest. 

It felt warm, it felt right and somewhere in his chest, a white lone candle lit up. Somewhere in his chest, something melted while another bloomed.

 

“I missed you too, Guk.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for posting this when I still have a four month old wip, if you care. I'll do berra, once I figure out how to get the characters from point d to z.


End file.
